Road trip!

In all honesty, I meant to make an entry each night after I stopped at a hotel to break it up a little bit, but I was extremely tired both times I stopped and didn't really feel like it. So now I'll recount the whole thing all at once and try not to get too long winded.
What a trip! I could probably end with that. But I won't. In all, it took me three full days, over 2100 miles: North Carolina, Virginia, West Virginia, Kentucky, Indiana, Illinois, Missouri, Nebraska, Wyoming and of course Utah. People told me both before and after the trip that they couldn't believe that I did it all on my own. And I can understand, I kind of thought the same way before I started. But once I got into it, I had a blast! Sure it was a tad lonesome, but my Ipod and sense of adventure made it so much better.
I made it all the way to Missouri on the first day, surprising even myself. That part of the country was in Spring mode, and there were trees on either side of me for the most part of that day. It reminded me of home, and it almost didn't feel like I even left North Carolina. Very good day scenery wise, just beautiful, rolling country everywhere you looked. It was my first time ever being in St. Louis and I would definitely like to go back! The Arch was cool to look at, and it just looks like it's a happenin place to be. So someday...
Next day was a looooonng one! Most of it was spent driving across and up Missouri and across Nebraska. Missouri wasn't to bad but Nebraska... no offense to anyone from Nebraska (although you might agree with me) it is an extremely boring state to drive through. It was startling at first to see the flatness and the emptiness but then, it got old. And the wind! As soon as I entered the state it never stopped blowing, and it was no little breeze. It never stopped until I got to Utah. Thank goodness for the loads of songs on my Ipod! Ended the day at a little town in the Nebraska panhandle called Sidney, only about 30 or so miles from the Wyoming state line.
Last day! Wyoming was a little better than Nebraska. There were at least some mountains and there was a kind of "wild west" feel to everything which I loved. But being this close to the end, I was just ready for it to be done. Only about 8 hours of driving that day, compared to the 12-13 hours the other two. Snow! There was snow on and off from Nebraska to Utah! It's been beautiful weather in NC so it felt like I had traveled back a couple seasons. But I safely made it to Utah, to my aunt and uncle's house in South Jordan, and now am sitting in the BYU library in Provo, reveling in the fact that I am back. It feels good! We'll see how life goes from here..

And so it begins..

Today I leave on an over 2,000 mile road trip by myself! Am I nervous? To be perfectly honest, I am a tad bit nervous. But I think I'm more excited than nervous, I mean its something different and brand new and after a year of being home, I'm ready to move on. Of course, it's kinda sad cause I'll miss the family. It's crazy what a year at home will do for your family relations if you have the right attitude. I've gotten a lot closer to them and will miss seeing them on a daily basis.
But excitement is still there!! I'm off to blaze a trail across the country, out on the open road. Wish me luck!

Shaving the Yard

While waiting for our mower to be fixed, our yard grew quite a bit scraggly. It was in desperate need of a shave, and once we got the mower back, me and Abby took it upon ourselves to give it a clean cut.

Still waiting...

So despite that previous decision to keep one of the "clunkers" it turned out that we found another nicer car that only cost a bit more that it was gonna cost to fix up the Ford Expedition that we have, plus it had less mileage on it so it was an obvious choice. I am now a new (used) car owner! It's a cool feeling and I really like the car which definitely helps. Its a 2003 Chevy Impala with just a little over 89,000 miles on it. Here's the factory picture of it. It's basically the same as mine except mine doesn't have a spoiler.



Now having the car, I'm pretty much ready to leave. I'm all packed up and chomping at the bit. All that I'm waiting on is for my debit card to come in the mail.. Stupid me lost it the other week and I put off ordering one till last Friday and you know how long those take to get to your house. There of course wasn't one in the mail today so it may be a couple more days. Fingers crossed it'll come soon!

Stress or excitement?

So I kinda forgot just how stressful moving is, especially when you're moving out on your own and have to get all the details in place. But at the same time, it's quite exciting and very empowering as I'm making decisions on my own (although I'm not very good at that) and figuring out what I'm doing with my life.
The most recent mind-wrestling concerned the issue of whether to buy a "new" car and start building my credit or sticking with one of the cars we already have and save my money. I tell you if I had just been given the second option right away, I would've had no qualms with doing that. But being young and a guy, having test driven a couple nice used cars and getting pretty excited about getting one, having to revert back to the old cars is not so appealing. Now I know this is very immature and prideful and not a very good reason for buying a new car. But it's a human trait and I'm trying very hard to get over it. I know the smart, finacially sound decision would be to stick with the "clunker" and I'm okay with that now. It's funny cause this reminds me of my last post and what I had discovered there. I think Heavenly Father's trying to teach me that I have something that I need help with.
Let me end with a quote that my Aunt Julie told me that really reminded me of how the world works and what the smart options are:
"If you are willing to live like no one else now, than in a few years you'll be able to live like no one else." Words to live by.

Control

You know what I've found out is one of the hardest things for me to do?

Giving up control..

There are some of you out there who can relate, who understand how hard it is to have planned everything out, to know what you want and even have a sort of a plan to work it out; and then, someone comes up with a better plan. You know it's a better idea, you know it's better for you. But a part of you still yearns for that original want, that original plan. You stubbornly insist that your way is better. I seem to do this especially with my Heavenly Father's will, though it's definitely not limited to it. It's hard! You know the person has the experience and wisdom, and you want to trust them, it's just that pride rears its ugly head. But how much better I feel when I actually do it!

Anyway, moving day is coming closer, and around next weekend I will be Provo-bound. Only two more days of work this week and I'll be done at Dick's Sporting Goods. Everything's changing so quickly but it's exciting!

Silence

Wind and snow blew across the almost empty streets of a slumbering New York City. Mikey crammed his fingers under his armpits as he sat against the cold bricks of the building behind him; his parents huddled a few feet away. They still had not forgiven him. But why should they? He had not even forgiven himself. He had let everyone down. He deserved to suffer.

Besides the noise of the cars on the street, it was quiet. Mikey hated the quiet. It reminded him of his loss.

“Not as cold tonight.”

They just ignored him, though he knew they heard him speak. To them, he had remained a silent figure they had to put up with. It hadn’t always been that way. Mikey sometimes smiled at those memories.

Standing on the street corner, his father strumming out the melody on his guitar. Wishing that his dad’s gigs at local bars and shows had kept them out of this situation, and then Mikey wouldn’t have to do this. Heart racing as he stares at the people passing by, almost afraid to let them hear him. But he has to make them hear him! Opening his mouth, Mikey starts to feel it swelling inside of him. Suddenly, he is no longer scared. He wants it to come out, yearns for it, needs it like the food that rarely fills his stomach. The sweet words coming out of Mikey's mouth grab the music from the guitar and stick, wrapping around them like a thread, weaving a quilt that he throws around himself.

People stop.

Tears fill their eyes. The quilt is full of blue, red, orange, yellow, green, magenta, and so many other colors that ears almost can't stand it. They are warmed down deep by the beautiful quilt, hypnotized by the power of Mikey's voice. But Mikey doesn’t notice, he’s no longer there. His parents do. Going from person to person, they barely even feel the wonderful quilt. They may have… once. They desire a different blanket now. A more valuable one…

Then one chilly morning, waking up to find everything he cared about-gone. That brutal assassin, cold, slowly murdering Mikey's voice as he slept on the streets each night. Sucking the life out of his lungs with incessant hacking and coughing, setting his throat on fire. No sound coming from his lips, no matter how much he wished it so. Looking into the eyes of his parents, seeing something die. He was killing it. He was killing hope.

Mikey shivered.

Twinkling stars shimmered.

Through the alley, the wind whistled.

His voice had come back but it wasn’t the same, it had emerged with holes ripped in it, no longer as warm or colorful as it had been so long ago. A tear rolled down his cheek. No longer special, no longer whole. Now that he was broken, no one believed that he had anything worth listening to. His voice no longer instilled greedy hope in his parents, so what good did it do?

Mikey sighed.

The silence was deafening.

©Joseph Whitaker 2010